Rush Hour Heist
by minibronco
Summary: Inspector Lee (Jackie Chan) and Officer Carter (Chris Tucker) take on their biggest adventure yet- a bomb threat and a million-dollar gold heist in New York City. EDITED BY darksunshine7109
1. On to New York

_New Line Productions was not involved with, and therefore has not endorsed, this story. All references are based on Rush Hour 2. All references to Rush Hour 1 are coincidental._

-on the plane to New York-

Lee: I will have the chicken meal. What about you, partner?

Carter: Hey man… you know how they kill those chickens? When we were in Hong Kong…

Lee: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know.

Carter: I'm staying away from chickens for now. I'll take the veggie lunch.

Lee: (looks surprised) You are vegetarian?

Carter: Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? You know how they kill those chickens? When…

Lee: (laughs) okay…okay! I have veggie one! Geez! Man, you know, you are biggest mouth in the West!

Carter: Well, you ain't the sexiest man in the East, for all I know…

Lee: Shut up!

Carter: Hey man… don't talk to a police officer like that, you know…

Lee: O yeah! How you get away from that girl in Vegas?

Carter: I…

Lee: O! Let me guess… hmm… you run up to my suite?

Carter: No, I…

Lee: Or you throw money at her?

Carter: Damn it, Lee! Can't you let me finish one damn sentence?

Lee: Okay… I listen to Carter.

Carter: I used my _moves_.

Lee: Your moves? Like kung-fu moves?

Carter: No. Black guy _moves_.

Lee: Running away?

Carter: Lee! You gotta remember where gangs came from, okay? Have you ever been to downtown L.A.?

Lee: Then how _do _you fight?

Carter: That doesn't matter now, does it? Just remember the golden rule of life: Always wear Versace leather jackets when you fight. With cash in the pockets. Got it, Lee? Hey! At least I'm still alive. Now don't forget this time we're going to have a _real_ vacation, right Lee? No B.S. this time, man.

CHAPTER 2 SOON


	2. The Call

New Line Productions was not involved with, and therefore does not endorse, this story. All references point to Rush Hour 2. Any references to Rush Hour 1 are purely coincidental and are extremely rare.

Our heroes are still driving their car on the way to Madison Square Garden, the home of the New York Knickerbockers. Madison Square Garden will thereby be called MSG, as locals in New York call it. (Editor's note: the head of NY Counterterrorism Unit, if there is one, is not headed by an Asian.)

Carter: Ah… finally a real vacation without fighting asian guys.

Lee: Yeah! Just the two of us… nobody else to bother us…

Carter: Hey, man! We aren't gay partners or something!

Lee: Did I say we gay partners? No… I said…

Carter: Yeah…yeah… never mind.

-Lee's cellphone rings-

-Lee picks up-

-Lee listens and answers in Chinese-

Carter: Aww man… not this Chinese shit again.

Lee: Carter! Shut up!

-Lee talks in Chinese-

Carter: Tell them we're on vacation in Hawaii or something and we can't get back.

-Lee talks in Chinese-

Lee: -on phone- Okay, inspector. Carter not going to be happy.

Carter: Are you talking about me? You better not be talking about me behind my back. Even though we're not gay you still have to…

Lee swerves the car around in a U-turn and heads the other direction, away from MSG.

Carter: Hey! Hey! Wrong way!

Lee hangs up his cellphone.

Lee: Inspector Lam just called. He head of New York counterterrorist unit. He not happy. We go to police department right now.

Carter: But the game's starting in 20 minutes! You're pulling my leg aren't you, you ass.

Lee: I am not pulling leg of Carter. Now we go.

Carter: Come on, Lee. Stay strong! We're on a vacation! And plus, we gotta get to MSG in 20 minutes!

Lee: Game is canceled. We go now.


	3. Briefing

New Line Productions was not involved with, and therefore does not endorse, this story. All references point to Rush Hour 2. Any references to Rush Hour 1 are purely coincidental and are extremely rare.

Our heroes are still on the car (continued from last chapter).

Carter: Every time we go on a vacation, some Chinese guy calls and we're fighting again. You better be kidding me.

Lee: I don't joke with you. This is a serious matter. The inspector called and he wants us at the CTU Headquarters right now.

Carter: Man… why does it have to be right now, call them and tell them we're going to…

Lee: Carter! This isn't a joke! He told me it has something to do with a bomb! There isn't time for your mouth…

Carter: Okay! You still owe me a vacation then.

Lee: No problem. Just keep your mouth shut.

-at N.Y. Counter Terrorism Unit (CTU) Headquarters-

Carter: -on leather massage chair- Ummmph! Oohhh! O! O! Owww! O man, Lee! Oohh! You gotta try this out, it's so…

Lee: Carter! Come here! We are on professional business. Act like a professional.

Carter: -mocking Lee and speaking with Chinese accent- Act like a professional. Act like a professional. Act like a professional. I do not understand your Chinese accent.

Lee: Carter! Come her-

-Inspector Lam enters room-

Lam: I see that you have taken the job, Lee.

Lee: Yes. I have.

Carter: I have?

Lam: And who is this insolent man who has interrupted our conversation so rudely?

Lee: That would be Carter, my annoying consience.

Carter: Your what? I can kick your…

Lam: I see. And will he be accompanying you on this assignment?

Lee: I guess so.

Lam: Very well. Make sure your consience does not get in your way, officer. This is a high-profile emergency. The last thing we would want to happen is your friend to get in the way.

Lee: I understand, inspector.

Lam: Fine then. He can tag along. Please enter my office as my colleagues and I will give you a briefing on your assignment.

-Lam, Lee, and Carter enter the office through double steel doors-

Carter: Ooo! Who are these people? And why are all of them Asian? I feel like I'm in…

Lam: Of course, Mr. Carter, you're always free to stay outside and sit on the massage chair if you like.

Carter: No, I'm fine. Hey man, I can kick your…

Lam: That will be enough. I understand both of you realize it is a very serious matter and the issue must be kept confidential.

Lee: Yes, inspector, we understand.

Lam: Then let's get started. This morning we fielded a call in our front office from one who called himself a terrorist. Obviously he isn't a really skilled one because he called from his hotel room and the specialists tracked down the room and number. We have identified him as Chris Pham, from Hong Kong. We had his room surrounded but apparently they called back saying he wasn't there.

Lee: What does this have to do with us, inspector?

Lam: Well, that's the hard part. In his threat, he specifically asked for you.

Lee: What does he want from me?

Lam: We don't know. He just said for us to get you here and he would call back at 3 p.m.

Lee: Or else?

Lam: Or else he'll set off a bomb.

Carter: A what?

Lam: Yes. A bomb. The specialists already discovered one of the sort. It is composed of two chemicals. By themselves, the chemicals are not dangerous. But together…

Colleague1: There must be something to activate the bomb and mix the chemicals. The bomb is very sensitive. The radioactive waves of a cellphone will set it off.

Lee: Where's the bomb?

Lam: Mr. Pham said that he has hidden one in a government building. We checked records of the CCTV's of all major buildings but we haven't discovered anything.

Colleague2: No sign of him in any of them.

Carter: Are you sure you aren't sending us on a wild goose chase? 'Cuz if you are, you know I can…

Lam: That is why we need your help. We will keep on searching for him. But for now, we must listen to his requests. We must be careful not to…

-telephone rings-

Lam: Remember, Lee. Stay relaxed and make sure you find out from him what it is that he wants.

-telephone rings

Lam: Promise him anything he wants. We have specialists listening in…

-telephone rings again-

-Lee picks up the phone-

Lee: Hello?


	4. A Date

New Line Productions was not involved with, and therefore does not endorse, this story. All references point to Rush Hour 2. Any references to Rush Hour 1 are purely coincidental and are extremely rare.

(mysterious voice): Hello? Is this Officer Lee?

Lee: Who is this?

(mysterious voice): You know who this is. You've been talking about me, haven't you?

Lee: Mr. Pham? What do you want?

Pham: Meet me at the observation deck of the Empire State Building, east side, in 30 minutes. Do not use elevator B. I know there are people listening to our conversation right now, I am not a dumbass. Tell them they cannot come with you.

Lee: Hey…

Pham: If you do not arrive on time, if you use elevator B, if you bring anyone along, I swear…

Lee: What?

Pham: I will set off the bomb.

Click 

Lee: Hello? Hello? Damn… he hung up!

Lam: Well, then… we only have one choice.

Carter: Go kick his ass!

Lam: No. Follow his directions.

Carter: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? This is BULLSHIT! We can't let him boss us around like that! Aren't you the NYPD?

Lam: No. The risk is too large. You heard him. The last thing we want to happen is a bomb going off in the middle of New York. Don't worry, Lee. We'll keep on your back.

Carter: (mockingly) Don't worry, Lee. We'll pick you up after you're dead.

Lee: (surprised) You're not going, Carter?

Carter: Are you kidding? I'm gonna get killed up there! Who knows what this guy wants? I told you this was not a good idea, Lee. Now look, we've missed the game!

Lee: I'll go by myself then, Inspector.

Lam: (on radio) Special teams unit, move out! Code 16 emergency 25-4 2 blocks away.

(talking to Lee) Lee, we will stay two blocks away from the Empire State Building.

Carter: You want him killed?

Colleague2: It's better if you go by taxi, Lee. Make sure you follow all of his directions…

Lam: Do whatever he says. Now go!


End file.
